How many subscribers have broken their phones recently?
In the past 3 years?
10 years?
If you answered 'yes' to any/all of these questions, then you are just like me, a normal cell phone user, just like all the other cell phone users with other companies out there. But what do we have in common that we don't share with other phone company subscribers? Insurance.
Oh we share the same company, Asurion. Asurion provides insurance coverage for cell phones to several major cell phone service providers(like T-Mobile, Verizon, etc)which means we all get the same service, or do we?
Some weeks ago I encountered one of the most frustrating experiences in my lifetime. I had woken up, got ready for work, grabbed my phone, turned it on...and it was busted. It was a Samsung Eternity(complete touchscreen except for a couple of buttons on the bottom)that had gone to the brink of insanity. The entire top half of the screen would send all my clicks and taps to the bottom half of the screen, while the bottom half of the screen wouldn't respond to my clicks and taps at all. It would have been a simple matter of recalibrating the tap function, except the calibration selection on the settings menu was on the top half of the screen. Poopie.
So I went to the nearest AT&T store to check out what they could do about it(because I really liked that phone)and was told by Brent(who was really nice and cordial btw)that I would have to make an insurance claim. I immediately thought to myself "Great, I gotta wait 4 days for a new phone"(Being that I've broken my other phones in the past 3 and 10 years, I knew the routine...or so I thought.)
Upon calling Asurion, I told the CSR what had happened, and he told me that I would have to fill out an affidavit, have it notorized, and snail mail it back, then wait another 48 hours to process, then 5-7 days for the phone to be delivered upon acceptance of affidavit and claim.
The space in between these two paragraphs represent my silence and immediate discontent with this situation. In disbelief, I asked him to repeat what he just said. He obliged. I said "is this a joke?"
To which he replied "No, sir. Standard policy."
I said "Since when?"
"About a few months ago."
"Why???" I inquired.
"To accomodate everyone"
I then recited to him what had happened previously to me twice(broken phone, they send me the replacement, I send them the broken phone within 30 or 60 days or they charge me retail value on my next bill, etc) and asked if that had any bearing on my needing an affidavit.
He replied with a resounding "No, it's just what we're doing from now on"
He then began to read off a litany of instructions and I interrupted him.
"So I'm to understand that paying fifty dollars for the policy and five dollars a month(a total of $105.00 a year)isn't good enough, and if something goes wrong, the only way I can get it fixed is through delayed mail and a sixty dollar errand? What am I paying you the hundred-five a year for?"
"Sir, that's just our policy."
At this point I caved, and decided to play nice...but that wasn't good enough.
"Fine, let me give you my email so you can send me the affidavit."
"Sir, we don't email the affidavit out...you have to download it off of our website, or we can snail mail it to you which could take up to 3 days."
If any of you who read this have an interpretive imagination, you must be sensing the rage that was building inside me.
I had reached maximum capacity. My frustration had built to the point of boiling over. I unloaded on this guy over the phone. I really let him have it. By the time I was done with him, he was speechless. I told him to immediately cancel my insurance, and when he asked why, I answered "Because of my lack of faith in a company who incompetently makes monetary demands of customers needing service to which they are ALREADY PAYING FOR."
By this time, everyone in the AT&T store was staring at me, like I was giving birth to a demon. And they had every right to. A couple of sailors had run out of the store, they were so offended at the filth flowing like Niagra from my mouth.
The moral? Don't buy insurance from AT&T.
The solution? Cancel your insurance, if you've bought some already, and go get a GoPhone, it's cheaper, will work well until your insurance runs out, can take your SIM card, and once your contract with AT&T runs out, you have no hooks, so you can easily transfer to another company.
My mother works for Cox Communications, so when my contract runs out, I'm getting a phone from them, as they are about to break into the wireless market anyway!
Oh, by the way, in case you were wondering: Asurion only makes AT&T customers sign affidavits, I had friends ask their insurance providers(all different companies, all under Asurion)what the procedure was for replacing a broken(NOT stolen)phone, and they just send you the box with the replacement phone, and you send them the broken phone back in the same box within 30 or 60 days(differs from company to company)...WTF?
AT&T will forever be known by me as Assholes Torturers & Thieves.
