'Tis the Season to Return Things...

...Fa la la la la, la la getyourmoneyback!

Every year around this time we all relish in the time we spend with our families, the food we eat, the egg nog we drink, and the hundreds or thousands of dollars in gifts we give/receive...and then return to the stores. We all get what we don't want at some point, but do we all get the money back we expect? We could all benefit from a refresher course now and then, to make sure bad employees/business practices don't needlessly get the better of our wallets this season. There are a few tips and steps I like to adhere to when I get something that I need to return:

Tips:

1. Call the store ahead of time and find out if their return policy covers full cash back/replacement of product/store credit.

2. Always have your receipt for the product, if you have to do a little digging/asking for it, there's no shame in that - people these days are fairly jaded to the idea of something being returned(which is why I usually just get people gift cards or cash anyway, I'm horrible at deciding what gifts to give people)

3. Make sure you write down the name of the customer service rep at the store you are returning your product to(EVEN if you are mailing the product in to a national service center 5 states away from you, or Japan, or India, get their name!)

4. Make sure your product came with a warranty(if it did, then you should take the time to read your warranty, there might be helpful info in there that you otherwise wouldn't be able to take advantage of, as the case most of the time is, the store clerk has no idea what is written in that warranty, and if you walk in with a little bit of know how, you might come out on top instead of 'Big Co., Inc.')

These tips can help you prepare for a return that could otherwise cause you to hear "Sorry, we don't give refunds...*click*"

Steps to follow if you have to bring your product back to the store yourself and confront someone face to face(hopefully that person who's name you took down over the phone)so you can successfully complete your return transaction are as follows:

1. Make sure you bring your studied receipt and warranty with you. Have it on hand at all times, it's like your lawyer, can be irritating to deal with, but will help you in the end, because you paid for it.

2. When you speak to the customer service rep, don't speak down to them, but don't be passive either, they've had to spend their holidays listening to people like you, and I'm sure they'd rather be doing something else than listening to a bunch of unhappy, griping customers. Be assertive, and elicit their full attention. If they start to wander, remind them that you are the customer, and you are in charge...but don't be a jerk, you can do that in a calm, pleasant tone while still being assertive. Remember, they have a job to do, and it's OK to remind them from time to time of that.

3. Don't be afraid to speak to the manager if your customer service rep isn't giving you the service you expect from a CSR. The elevation in authority usually gets their attention if all else fails, and if they're being lazy or inattentive, this will definitely remind them that YOU are the boss, not them.

4. When speaking to the manager, be prepared to restate your case and make your demand again, but also be prepared to state why you had to have him called here in the first place(bad customer service.) Once the manager hears your story, chances are you are in like Flynn, and will get the service you desire. Managers hate bad customers, because managers are always under review, and a bad review could cost them their job.

5. Once everyone's clear on the proper transaction for your return and you are satisfied, make sure(if you have a warranty or an extended warranty)that BEFORE you complete the transaction, you are aware of their fulfillment policy. If you've read the post before this one, you'd know that I was burned by Best Buy on their fulfillment policy after I purchased a two year warranty, and only got one service out of it. Companies will do this to you, in hopes that you won't read your warranty.

Most extended warranties are expensive, and there's NO refund for those. This is how most companies make their money. There's no two ways about it. My brother purchased a $1,300 laptop a couple of years back and bought the only extended warranty offered for that laptop at a price of $300, for 3 years. He's not going to get the money back on that warranty, and neither are you! Make sure you get full service on your warranties!

Above all, don't take no bull! There will be companies that you want to return something to that you just can't, because they have a no-return policy. In that case, EBAY(or your favorite auction site)can help you get a bit of cash in your pocket where you would instead have a piece of plastic you can't spend anywhere else but the place you got it.

You know, I've still got a SEARS store credit gift card for $20 for returning a Tie 2 years ago, and I go into SEARS about once every six months, I've still yet to spend that money...just making a point.

Have a happy and safe holiday everyone!

The Best Buy Beat Down

Throughout my life I have had many pleasant and unpleasant experiences as a consumer(who hasn't?), and I've learned from those experiences. I've also learned to do my homework on businesses. Please allow me to take no more than 15 minutes of your time to tell you about an experience that I had at the local Best Buy in Lafayette, Louisiana, from December 2008 to November 2009.

In December 2008, I strolled into my local Best Buy with my Christmas bonus in hand, and purchased a Guitar Hero drum kit for the Xbox 360, which completed my instrument controller ensemble.(NOTE: I am an avid gamer, and video games have been and always will be a significant part of my life.) I found the last one on the shelf and proceeded to the checkout line, happy as a clam. When it was my turn to check out, I was encouraged to purchase a 2 year warranty for the kit, as it has a chance of breaking under normal wear and tear. Since I'm a cautious consumer, after a issuing a small gauntlet of questions about the coverage of the warranty to the cashier, I figured I had heard enough, and purchased the warranty. Being confident in my new purchase, I rushed home as fast as I could to get it out of the box.

After about 2 months, I felt glad I had purchased that warranty, because it was time to cash in on it. The red pad(snare drum)had pooped out on me, and wouldn't respond to the hit of the stick, like all the others did. So, I called in, asked if they could replace it, and after they confirmed they could I brought it in, and left with my new drum kit. This made me real happy, as they promptly replaced the item, no questions asked.

This drum kit worked great for about another 9 months, and in November, wouldn't ya know it - the red pad broke again! So I followed the same steps I did last time(as I'm just OCD like that)except this time they didn't have a replacement drum kit, but they offered to give me store credit in its place, which I reluctantly agreed to. I packed up the toy, and brought it to the store. When I arrived at the store, I had to go through the typical steps: Sticker at the door, wait in line, plead my case, and finally after having to go back home to get the drumsticks(which I forgot to pack)I got my store credit, and was ready to leave the store. I was surprised, however, to be interrupted by the customer service girl, Becka, who informed me that my 2 year warranty was fulfilled, and if I would like to purchase a new warranty, I could do so at the check out counter. This didn't sit well with me and I thought to myself for a second before asking her: "If you had replaced the toy, would the warranty still be 'fulfilled'?" She quickly replied 'yes' as if this isn't the first time she's had to answer that question. I paused, thought about this, and it occurred to me that 2 year warranties normally last 2 years, and not 2 services. I asked her the reason the warranty was fulfilled and she informed me that it is outlined in the warranty contract. I quickly started studying the warranty again(which I had done when I bought the warranty)in the store, and found nothing about fulfillment after 2 services. She told me that I had had the product serviced before, but that was still within the manufacturer's warranty, so the extended warranty didn't kick in until after the 90 day manufacturer's warranty expired. I told her that still doesn't explain where it points out in the warranty that I'm only allowed 1 service within the 2 year service contract. Since I had the document in hand at the time, I asked her to point it out so it would be clear that I don't have a case to plead, and she couldn't point to a clause that I couldn't also contradict with another clause in the same paragraph, or how it doesn't pertain to this particular situation. In fact, she couldn't prove at all that the contract was fulfilled, so she called someone else over, it was a black girl, if I remember correctly, her name was either Heather or Kim. She started looking through the document, studying. After about 2 minutes of looking, she found, on the second page, these sentences:

"Our obligations under this Plan will be fulfilled in their entirety if we replace your product, issue you a voucher or gift card or reimburse you for replacement of your product pursuant to these terms and condition. This Plan is inclusive of your product's manufacturer's warranty; it does not replace your product's manufacturer's warranty, but it does provide certain additional benefits during the term of the manufacturer's warranty." She stopped there. She outlined the sentences with a smirk and a purple pen that looks like it had been chewed on enough to replace an employee's hunger for the day.

Taken back by this a bit, and somewhat disappointed in myself, I studied the pair of inky spears over and over for what felt like hours, though it probably wasn't more than a minute or two. I decided to keep reading after the two sentences, and lo and behold, another contradiction to the previous clause; to which I proudly read to them:

"Parts and services covered during the manufacturer's warranty period are the responsibility of the manufacturer and are not covered under this Plan. After the manufacturer's warranty expires, this plan continues to provide the benefits provided by the manufacturer's warranty, as well as certain additional benefits as listed within these terms and conditions."

They didn't know what to say. Becka started rummaging frantically below her cash register as I stared down my nose at them in victory! She then reached for something I couldn't see, and brought it to the counter in a feat of deception. It was a booklet. She started frantically reading through it, and I had to interrupt her. I asked her what she was reading, which she replied, "I'm reading through the warranty booklet."

"Why are you doing that? I don't know what's in that booklet! That wasn't the booklet I was sent!", it was much larger than the one I had.

"This is the one we go by," she said

"But this (pointing to my book) is the book I was given, so this is the book you have to use! If you don't read your warranty books, then you can't do your job right, and I want a refund."

"I gave you a refund."

"You gave me a card, and didn't include the price of the warranty in it, which is unacceptable, because you are breaching the contract that I paid for."

I asked her why she didn't consider the contract fulfilled when I replaced it the first time? She said that it was still covered under the manufacturer's warranty, and while under the manufacturer's warranty I have unlimited replacements. Both Becka and Heather/Kim confirmed this to be true. So I went back to the statement after the inked section and told them that "under the manufacturer's warranty I have unlimited replacements, but this extended warranty doesn't remove that privilege, it extends it. It even says so in the ink right here! But you didn't want me to read that, so you didn't highlight it."

After proving her both wrong with their own ink, she threw her hands up into the air, and said "I'm not going to argue with you, if you want to take it up with corporate, I can give you the 888 number."

I told her that's unacceptable, and I want to speak to the manager.

This is where the you know what hits the fan. Ashley, the store manager, approached the counter after a 5 minute wait, and told me she had been informed of what was going on. She said there's nothing I can do. I told her I don't need to do anything, and that YOU need to do something about these unsatisfactory services I've been rendered. Ashley was growing impatient with me much more rapidly than the other girls(bless their hearts)and decided to use volume, rather than words.

"Sir, I'm done with you, I'm not going to argue with you..."

"But..."

"I WILL NOT ARGUE WITH YOU LEAVE THE STORE NOW!"

"So what you're saying in this case, the customer isn't right?"

"YES!"

She then raised her arm, snapped her fingers, and whistled to someone behind me, as if she was calling her majesty's royal guard, who in this case just so happened to be a 400-pound, no neck having sack of flesh named Malcom, who, with the worst case of halitosis I've ever experienced, approached me with a glint in his eye, and blood on his chops. This guy is the kind of guy that isn't smart enough to reason with words; so he resorts to reasoning with violence. He very breathily spoke: "come with me." I told him no. He said it again(I was hoping he wouldn't have)"come...with...me" He inched closer to me, and if it weren't for his enormous gut getting in the way, we would have been touching noses.

"You are going to come with me, one way or another," he said.

"If you lay a finger on me, we're going to have a problem." I replied

"I'm not going to touch you."

"Then how am I coming with you one way or another?"

Ha! I had him cornered. 'My wits win the day!' I thought to myself.

"I'm going to call the cops on you and they'll pull you out of here," he said with a smirk on his face.

I said "Fine, I'll wait for the police to show up, so they can protect me from you."

This is the part where I get humiliated. The police were called, in front of me, and they were told I was being loud, obnoxious to employees, and threatening to other customers for no reason. Right in front of me! They said those lies! I told them they better save the camera feed so they can play that lie back to the police, to which my response was nothing more than a sneer and a thumbed nose in my direction.

So, like a brave and seasoned warrior, I waited, calm, still, confident. Suddenly, I found myself being slowly surrounded by Best Buy employees who had heard what was going on, and like vultures, they encircled me and started jabbing me with insults like"It's just a toy, what's the big deal?" "Why doesn't he go bother someone else, somewhere else" "This guy is pathetic, making an issue out of a hundred dollars." "He's not gonna get what he wants." One of the employees approached me, and asked, "Why are you making such a fuss out of this?"

I said"Out of what? Protecting my rights as a consumer? Buddy, if you like the idea of rolling over and taking it in the you-know-what, that's your problem. But I won't be pushed around with these Gestapo tactics, I'm standing up for myself!"

He responded with"We did what we are supposed to do. We did our jobs."

"Oh, so using deceptive practices and committing fraud is doing your jobs? Standing around on the clock and gawking at customers, wasting the company's money, is doing your jobs? Arguing with customers, telling them the customer isn't right is doing your jobs?!"

He retreated.

20 humiliating and embarrassing minutes pass, where I was a statue, like one in Central Park, a bastion of poop and target for winged rats to perch upon, when the police finally arrived. They approached and asked me what had happened, and I proceeded to tell them the story, and asked if I could have them escort me out of the store remaining behind me so 'tons o' fun' wouldn't pull any tricks(at this point in the story, your fearless narrator had all of his integrity and humility stripped from him, and was just frustrated to the point of petty name calling, so I said that one loud enough for him to hear, though I'm sure it didn't do any good, as he probably doesn't know what a 'ton' is, much less the plural of the word)

On the way out, an older black man was posted where Malcom had originally been, at the terminal near the door. While I was walking out of the store, Malcom's replacement(I use that term loosely)decided to take up the role of Don King, Jesse Jackson, and Al Sharpton in one grandstand perfomance, and yelled out in the store, in a flavorful way;"You are hereby banned-ed-ed from tha store, sur, and if you come back, mistuh, you will be uh-rested-ed-ed fo' tresspassin', thank you, suh, and have a nice evenin'!" He finished with a twisted lip flip in my direction.(I'm not 100% sure about this, but I think he called my mother a hamster, and said my father smelled of eldeberries.)

In the parking lot, the police and I were discussing what was going to happen next. I asked if there was going to be a police report/incident report/any paper trail at all filed, and they confirmed that there wasn't going to be. I retrieved their names, badge numbers, and a business card they wrote it down on, so I can have them corroborate the story if I needed them to.

Now you may think this is where my story ends, but it doesn't. There's action, suspense, drama, and a letter filed with the Better Business Bureau that doesn't get a response until after 3 unsuccessful attempts at contact with Best Buy corporate.

Now that you've heard my story, I must warn you that this has been occurring for years (as far back as 1996) at Best Buy stores all over the United States. I've done extensive research at my own time and expense, and have gathered case log, names, dates, store numbers, employee/former employee testimonies about the deceptive practices and Gestapo tactics they use on their prey/customers. I hope you have found this story very informative and enlightening, as it cost me my dignity and humility in front of people I've met, people I've never met, and people I know, just because I wouldn't be quiet, and take what I had comin' to me.